Riddle Me This: When is a Doctor Who Story Not a Doctor Who Story?

ANS: When it doesn't matter if the Doctor is in it or not.

Hello Gang - the episode we've chosen to begin our reviews of Doctor Whofills us with consternation.

Firstly, as far as Doctor Who goes, "The Rebel Flesh" is not the worst since the show was revived, but it may very well be the worst of Matt Smith's run (in a tie with Vampires of Venice), primarily because he seems almost an adjunct. Secondly, because it's part one of a two-parter, so it's meant to frustrate, and hopefully many things will be explained and resolved as it's clear there are threads for the future.

For those who don't know the premise of this episode, the Doctor, freaked out by Amy Pond's mysterious existent/non-existent child (lovingly called Schrodinger's Zygote by Charlie Jane Anders of the brilliant i09) tries to return her and Rory home. Instead the TARDIS arrives on an island on Earth where acid is mined for purposes I never fully grokked and therefore dopplegangers are created for hazardous work.

They're called Gangers, and they're created with synthetic flesh that grows a body from a template (and clothes, thanks BBC censors), whereupon the original human being jacks in Matrix/Avatar style controlling their ganger. Oh, I did forget to mention that a mysterious Deus Ex Machina Solar Tsunami is what both knocked the TARDIS off course and causes the Gangers to be totally sentient with all of the thoughts and memories of their driver... or whatever.


THE STONE COLD BRILLIANT
Firstly, this episode's best quality is the intrigue of its concept - living breathing creatures with all of the memories of their counterparts. You might be thinking they have designs of taking over the world, but really they just want to see their loved ones, get out and live lives... lives already occupied by human beings.

Second, it's tough to judge part one of a cliffhanger on its own merits. The Impossible Astronaut, on it's own, was fairly Meh for me. However, Day of the Moon tied it all together with a pretty bow, and fireworks, and a whizz bang clever ending. It's nice to see Rory and Amy being a bit more autonomous this season, but within limits.


THE ... LESS THAN BRILLIANT
While the concept of the Ganger humans is intriguing, it also garnishes a big MEH. Largely because this same concept has been done, in varying degrees, by science fiction shows of all sorts over the past half century. It's an issue of civil rights, and everything from Star Trek to StarGate to Battlestar Galactica has walked these halls. In fact, you could exchange the Doctor, Amy and Rory with any Enterprise away team.

And that may be its most unforgiveable sin - It betrays Doctor Who.
Be it in style, storytelling approach, or concept, Doctor Who always stood apart and felt unique because of the Doctor and the TARDIS. In this episode, the Doctor doesn't know anything (or at least he's not sharing if he does) and the Tardis is submerged most underground due to acid corrosion. Everything takes a backseat to the idea of civil rights. And it's far too well trodden a road in sci-fi to be entertaining. The Ood did a better job of this theme in Season 4 of Doctor Who, and as CJ Anders of i09 pointed out, this is the kind of plot at which Star Trek: The Next Generation exceeded. So why did the writers of Who feel the need to do this?


The Doctor was fairly ineffectual and Amy and Rory commenting about how they're not supposed to wander off immediately before they wander off got annoying. I'm talking horror movie, "Oh God you idiot don't go in there, just leave!" levels of annoyance. It lacked all of the charm of Karen Gillan's simple 'Of Course' response to that same issue in "Vincent and The Doctor" last season.

Also, we have to admit that we felt a little teased. You see, the opening shot with the Gangers on their way to an acid mine installation looked for all the world like three Sontarans and their helmets. And the explanation of the flesh just screamed to be attached to the Autons, which led to speculation as to the exact nature of Rory Williams 2000 year old body. But alas, there was no payoff of classic Who villains. Was this done on purpose? Was this a way of saying, 'Fuck you people, here's a NEW monster' ?


And Who the Fuck Mines Acid?? HONESTLY - help us out with that. If you caught an explanation in the episode, or know of ANY REASON why someone would mine a corrosive material, please let us know.
We've got to add a great big honking...


SPOILER ALERT!!!
So, if you're like us and you've watched all of Season 6... doesn't it take a little of the starch out of The Impossible Astronaut to know that there is a perfect clone of The Doctor?
Surely, we must all be thinking that the Doctor who gets shot by the astronaut is the Ganger Doctor, clearly disoriented about his age, so he gives a number 200 years in the future. It seems clear that anytime Nurse EyePatch, The Disappearing is involved, the episode will hold portent for the future and the finale.

So, to wrap up this season so far in a stream of impulsive thoughts-

Oh! The Silence, an interesting new enemy! They're nice and creepy! Playing with time around the space launch in 1969! It's a two parter! The doc gets shot, man this is riveting. It wraps up and we get pirates. Okay, pirates and a "siren" that was a fun little swashbuckling romp... Then "Doctor's Wife" wow, all sorts of possibilties! References to classic Who! Is there a Rani possibility? Who knows what's going to happen next! Oh. we're in a castle/monestary...that mines...acid? There are acid leaks and clones? Um, I watching the right show?